probably noticed that in order for this maneuver to work, you have to overcome your own perceived-loss circuitry. And right when youve made so much progress! But because you are a student of the Tao, you are detached from your outcome while moving towards it. And you know that what may outwardly seem like taking a step backwards actually moves you closer to your outcome.\r\nThe generals have a saying: "Rather than make the first move It is better to wait and see. Rather than advance an inch It is better to retreat a yard."   This is called Going forward without advancing, Pushing back without using weapons   When two great forces oppose each other, The victory will go To the one that knows how to yield. - Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Ch. 69 (transl. Stephen Mitchell)\r\n Kissing girls: theory and practice You know were all in trouble when we have to consult books to figure out when to kiss women. But the fact is that its not entirely obvious, and there are good ways of doing it and better ways of doing it. Several elements go into a good first kiss: the man appears to be in control, the act seems spontaneous, and the kiss subtly communicates passionate desire. Most importantly, you, the man, must never ask for permission. You gain permission by noticing her green lights and then forging ahead. Before you take something, you must wait for it to be given.